It's been 2 months

It's been 2 months since I said goodbye to Baby A.  I can't believe how time has flown by.  I truly believe that I have gone through this for a reason.  That by going through this, I am stronger.  It is funny how one loss can hurt more than another.  My previous loss, I had only known for 2 days that I was pregnant (I had probably already lost the baby by the time I found out).  That loss didn't hurt as much.  Don't get me wrong, it hurt, it just seems like it hurt less than this one.  I don't think that you ever get over a loss, but you learn how to live with it (so to speak).  You heal, not only your body, but your mind.  I do believe that having faith helps as well.  While I do not believe in "God", I do believe there is a higher power and I call him/her the Creator.  I believe with all my heart that during my time of need he/she was with me and that he/she helped me through it and still is.

Other things in my life have gotten me very down lately.  I have been depressed.  I have been anxious.  Maybe it still has to do with my D&C, it has been 2 weeks now.  Maybe my hormones are still leveling off.  Who knows.  All I know is I look at my 2 boys every day and thank the Creator that I was allowed to be their mother and I will get to watch them grow up and have kids of their own.  Even if I do or do not have more children, I will always have my boys as well as my 3 angels watching over me and for that I give thanks every day!!

Life otherwise, continues to go on.  Ry is learning how to sign at "school" and I am so pleased that this time he is catching on.  I tried when he was smaller and he wanted nothing to do with it.  He is still my little baby though and wants Mommy if he gets a boo-boo.  Timmothy is happy to be back at school after being off for Spring Break, but the funny part is he is already counting down to the end of the school year.